Assertiveness isn’t just about saying “no” or setting boundaries.
It’s also about the ability to manage your emotions in challenging situations – without explosive reactions, suppressing feelings, or avoiding confrontation.
One of the models that helps us understand where our reactions come from is the ABCD model of emotions:
🔸 A – Activating Event – Something happened.
🔸 B – Beliefs – Your interpretation of that situation.
🔸 C – Consequences – The emotions and behaviors that follow.
🔸 D – Dispute – The moment you pause and challenge your thoughts.
What does this look like in practice?
A: Your manager doesn’t respond to your question during a meeting.
B: “They probably think it was a stupid question.”
C: You feel embarrassed and withdraw from the conversation.
D: “Maybe they didn’t hear me or had other priorities? I’ll follow up after the meeting.”
💡 This model reminds us that it’s not the situation itself that causes the emotion, but our interpretation of it.
And once we start noticing those interpretations – we begin to regain control.
👉 If you’d like to better manage your emotions and respond with more clarity and confidence, check out:
- My assertiveness e-book
- 1:1 coaching or mentoring session
You’ll find all the resources here:
🔗 www.djaworska.com/sklep
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